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One day I absently checked my OKCupid inbox for new messages. I do that every day.) There was a message from a very handsome older gentleman. (Thinking about this, I am reminded of that episode on "Sex and the City" in which Samantha dates an older man and it goes really well until he gets naked.)He greeted me the next morning at Joe's, and I was pleased to see that he looked just like his profile photo. We sat down and ordered, and then he immediately pulled pictures of his grandkids out of his wallet and showed them to me. I was done with my shopping, so I looked all through the store.

She told me to calm down and go out to the parking lot and look for him.

And the fact that adults and males have social/cultural/economic/etc.

power over teenagers and females adds extra force to the power differential in this kind of arrangement.

Past columns and submission guidelines are at latimes.com/laaffairs Ah, the perils and pitfalls of online dating.

I decided to write him back, although I didn't know if I could get into dating an older man. I generally date younger men, but that hasn't worked out so well. He wrote that he had just returned from visiting his grandkids (yikes) and had a wonderful time. He's a retired professor and incredibly intelligent. When breakfast was over, he told me he had to run a few errands and then take his dog, which was in his car, to the dog park. We both selected chicken burritos, and I inquired about how his dog was doing in his car.

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It was complimentary without any sexual innuendoes, a first for me in the world of online dating messaging. And I'm way too young for grandchildren, thank you very much. Considering all of that, I decided to try to let our age difference go and accept a phone call with him. He was really sweet, but it was very clear that he should be dating someone his own age with a similar background. However, he was very kind, and I felt like I made a new friend, and that's great. When I got there, I found him in the frozen food aisle.

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